The only thing I wonder is whether you are relying on evidence that kids in shared custody situations are just ‘faking it’ when they seem OK, or if you are projecting from your own experience… I don’t have any evidence that children in a 50/50 physical custody arrangement saying they are happy are really not. Boy, that would be difficult to set up, but the results would be fascinating, wouldn’t they? I do believe very strongly in shared physical custody. I think that time spent privately with each parent is essential. I am always amazed at how quickly online blogs, media postings, etc.
because it feels a little like you are also making a black-or-white argument that shared custody is NEVER a good situation for kids, and I just feel like every family is unique and sometimes it might be the best, and some kids might actually be OK with it – even though I agree with you that in most cases it is probably not the best choice. I just also believe they should have one place that is called ‘home’. go from certain levels of understanding, to appropriate opposition, and then out of no where it seems to hit a nerve with someone and all is lost!
M started at her current daycare while we were living together but separated.
They are very on top of ensuring we BOTH receive newsletters and art work.
I am the custodian of my daughter, but all too often we associate ‘custody’ with ‘ownership’.
In any case, I am a Mum who shares custody of my daughter in a 50/50 set-up. She is with me for a week, then to her dad’s for a week. About once a month we get together as a family for a casual dinner or time outdoors. Her Nana doesn’t see her on Mother’s day because M is with me.
We talk to one another at least once a week and there is always the option for the other parent to call to talk on the phone with M.
Reply First, I have to point out that I dislike the term ‘custody’ when it comes to our kids.I started a bit of a kerfuffle on another site the other day and I decided to write an opinion piece to reflect it. Reply After reading some of the posts on the other site, it seems to me that the fathers feel like if they don’t have the full or atleast 50/50 custody it means they do not love their children as much. Just because the child doesn’t live with you it does not mean they love you less.I didn’t think I would be writing these, but the topic is interesting and I’d love to hear other people’s perspectives: Child custody. And debating it is not for the meek or faint hearted. Somehow I just don’t see maturity playing a part in any of the above. Not being the child of divorce I can’t tell you which I’d prefer. You do make a compelling argument on the subject of “making an effort” when it comes down to it. By the passion they have about the subject you can tell they love them very much. If only these parents would put that time and energy into just being with their children and not worry about who sleeps at who’s house more etc. Anyway, this wasn’t a commentary about what my parents did right or wrong, so I’m not going to make it one here.She stated that her ex husband chose not to have a role in her children’s life and that it of course was damaging to them. It means three nights at mom’s house this week and four nights the next. I don’t really care which parent the child resides with. I also brought up how difficult it would be for kids to answer one of the basic questions of kid-dom. ” The question that answers whether they reside in close enough proximity to be playmates. Because the response to that second comment was certainly passionate. And the biggest problem here is that you can’t ask them. It would require whoever is ‘secondary’ to make more phone calls, attend things their child is attending, have them over for evenings and (oh no, not the dreaded! Because mom and dad were mature enough to get married. After which they were mature enough to get divorced. Her children are the only way to get back at the other parent. And lots of mothers who use their children as pawns; treating their children like rewards instead of human beings.She then listed a smattering of studies, detailing the detriments to children from absent fathers. Or maybe it means this week at mom’s, next week at dad’s. Living precisely one half of your life in one residence and one half in another. Amidst the profanity, there were examples of how well equal custody works and mentions of child support. Because a father wanting to spend time with his children should never be motivated by a desire to reduce their price tag. Because the child of divorce aches to be with both of their parents too. ) visit their child at their ex spouses home along with enjoying their scheduled visitation. Can’t they be mature enough to put their own issues and wants aside and give their children everything? But again, this piece wasn’t about the atrocities that can occur after divorce.