Sooner or later, your kids will get used to it — and if you're happy, they will likely be too.
remembers the conversation she had with her two sons following one of their regular visits with herex-husband.
Remember, first impressions and conversations are important. When things get serious with you and a new love, ask your kids about issues that might concern them.
If your date is sensitive to your kids' feelings, it's much more likely that he'll be greeted with an open mind and given a fair chance. If they're worried about financial matters, let them know you'll take measures (such as a prenuptial agreement) that will protect your (and their) interest — as well as their future.
"My daughter pretty muchknew we weren't just friends. She made some comments to my roommate at the time, but not to me.""Don't ask, don't tell" dating policies are often the unspoken rule of parents who plan to keep their romanticlives separate from their children's lives, or who fear that introducing a new love interest who might not"stick around" will simply give their children a new reason for heartache.
Gary Neuman agrees that casually introducing every date to a kid is a bad idea; equally wrong, he believes, is minimizing the importance of a new love interest.
Both boys were brimming with news about Daddy's new friend, Joanne.
The reasonis simple: A child's own identity is very much tied to that of his family.
That's not an argument for or against divorce, for or against dating.
It is an argument for honest, direct dialogue with kids about new relationships: Why Mom or Dad wants one, what Mom or Dad will doif a new relationship becomes serious, and how Mom or Dad's relationship with the child will be affected. had been divorced for six years when she announced to her children that she was thinking ofstarting to date again."They fell on the floor laughing," she recalls.
But it can be a good idea to conduct a new relationship in a way that will encounter the least amount of resistance. (And if you've met someone already, talk first in generalities about dating before talking about your new guy or gal.) Convey your feelings of being lonely, wanting affection and missing having a partner. When you're starting to date, mention to your kids that you might make mistakes.
You could even hint that in the absence of companionship, you might have to lean a lot more heavily on them — and you don't want to do that. You could gently remind them that they made quite a few along the way too — and that there is a skill to dating that you have to re-learn. When things start getting serious, introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend to your family in small doses and with no big fanfare.